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the waiting game

February 27, 2010

What brought me here?

I still don’t know.

For a time, i told myself that I should refrain from writing anything that concerns my emotions. Talk about being private.

But then, I can’t understand myself.

I feel like being with a friend to feel better, but I also feel like being alone.  I’m trying to focus on my work but I can’t. And everytime I try to read anything law-related, I would be dyslexic. Sometimes, I would imagine happy thoughts but I would snap myself back to reality because I’m scared to imagine the contrary.

I feel like crying for no reason at all.

I feel so lost.

I feel abandoned.

I feel uncertain.

I feel like an idiot.

I feel like punching anyone who would give me any reason to.

I feel like kissing any guy who would make a first impression.

But then again, it’s a crazy idea.

I feel like hiding.

I feel like singing any song that I can relate to.

I feel like watching movies 24×7.

I feel like slapping any bitch who deserves it.

But most of the time, I feel like falling down on my knees and surrendering

everthing to our GOOD LORD.

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