truth lies

I have to believe that things aren’t always what they seem.  That’s the best thought that I have to live through. After all, I’m good in seeing the beauty behind every ugly piece of reality.

It’s funny though because I can do it without effort. I’m slowly discovering things that would have hurt me long ago. It’s just surprising that I’m accepting them now as they are. Just like raw facts. Just like processed information. Just like thin air that goes in and out of my ears.

Is this abnormal? Not feeling hurt. Not feeling pain. Not cursing.

These pieces of information should have been multiple slaps on the face. They should have struck my pride. They should have broken my esteem. But they don’t.

Am I numb? Am I still human?

So many things were hidden from me. Rather, so many words were left unsaid so I could blame myself for not being the best that I could be. Some people think that I faulted. I never said I didn’t. But they have to be in my place to understand. I wish they would know how it feels.

For some reason, I stopped caring about what people say. I don’t know. I got tired? I’m even too lazy to text or answer calls of someone I just met. It’s just tiring to spend time on people who are just around to bug and mess my time. It’s intuition. Maybe he’ll just invite me to a multi-level marketing scheme so I keep on concocting lies so he won’t feel like I’m avoiding him. Hihihi.

I want to be around positive people. They don’t have to lie to me. I don’t have to lie to them. Good thing, I know who they are now. I have a list. My office mates told me a while ago that I have so many friends who give me stuff. They want to meet my friends too. They ask why my friends send me stuff and give me money. Hahaha. Well, maybe I’ve been a good girl. But really, it’s not what they give me that count. It’s really the kind of friendship that I have with them. It’s knowing your flaws and lies, and still loving everything about you.