venting

it’s a relief. i feel good. but deep inside, i’m also trembling. that was not easy. arrghh. i admit being a lousy student for the past two years. i guess i’m already tired of this "studying-working sked" already. it’s a feeling that i share with shie. i just want to gather all the units that i need and study in comfort for the bar exams.

i still have two subjects to go next sem, and i hope & pray that there would be no increase in number. let’s live it that way, and i’ll be ok.

********************************************************************************************************* I chained my hands during those days when I really wanted to write down the things that I have to say (Finals kase!). Thus, I was not able to seize that moment and vent my perspective about one thing : ACCEPTANCE. I think it’s one thing that we need to plant in our hearts in order for us to become better individuals.

It doesn’t mean that we have to be perfect. We don’t have to be good in everything. We just need to understand that GOD didn’t create this world to stay perfect. If he meant it that way, we might as well call this place, "heaven".

We have to accept that humans err. Even a genius commits mistakes. Even the most beautiful goddess has imperfections. We fail. We fall. But I guess, those are the things that make us best. Eventually. We just have to wait.

I keep on asking why some people can’t care to move on from the past. I guess it’s because they can’t accept the way things are supposed to happen. And so they face the truth, not by accepting reality, but by blaming others. They blame others when in fact, no one is to be blamed. They remind others for the mistakes that they made, and they end up hurting them. They don’t forgive, they don’t forget. In the process, they can’t move their feet from the ground. They can’t face tomorrow. They can’t be happy.

For the past months, I tried to defend myself from the remnants of the past. I tried to air my side of the story. But it went nowhere. I bet it’s true that I can’t really overturn someone’s judgment if it has already reached finality.

I believe I deserve some respect inspite of my mistakes. As a matter of fact, I did not err in his terms. At the most, my mistakes were those that I committed against myself. For not being firm, and for not being able to handle some emotional setbacks on my own.

I am entitled of hurting. I am entitled of being empty. I am entitled of thinking. I am entitled of making mistakes. I am entitled of learning. I am entitled of being me. I am entitled of setting my journey.

I have a heart, and it is entitled of hurting.